மரூபமலையில், மலையப்பனுக்கு முக்திநாதனுடன் தங்கிவிடுவது நல்லதாக முதலில் தோன்றியது. பிறகுதான் இறைவன் சித்தம்பற்றித் தேட ஆரம்பித்தான். அதைப்பற்றி தியானித்த போது எழுதிய பாடல்:
நம் மனநிறைவிற்காகச் சேவை செய்யாமல், பிறரின் தேவைக்காகவே செய்யவேண்டும் என்று எண்ணியபோது எழுதிய பாடல்:
அகம் அழிந்திட வேண்டும்
அகமது அழிந்திடவேண்டும் ஐயா
ஆன்மீகவாழ்விலும் வளம்பெற வேண்டும்
இகமதில் வாழ்ந்திடும் வாழ்வில் என்றும்
“சுய”மதை நீக்கிடவேண்டும் ஐயா–அகமது அழிந்திட….
I have some problem with dating the following two songs. I still remember the background clearly in my mind where I wrote the song at Keshave’s village. But my diary entry shows it at Gonda UP. There could be some error in the dates. So at present I keep the dates for April 1993 and not Feb. 1992.
The following song has its own background. Keshave lives in an interior village. To reach the village back in the 1990s, we have to walk nearly eleven kms from the last bus stop. There was no electricity in his village back in 1992 and when we reached his village we will felt as if we reached the end of the world. On the other side of the village the forest begins. So when I reached his village for the second time in February 1992, I spent several days there as I liked interior places. There is a small river flowing nearby his village. Every day after my walk we used to sit and do our worship and discussion. But when I go for my walk I prefer to go alone. So I went early to the riverside to be ‘alone’. It is a beautiful place as the river is flowing some 80 feet below us. The evening sunset is beautiful and one can see green fields on the other side of the river and rarely some animals like foxes and rabbits will come to the riverside. I used to go a bit early and sit on the river side to enjoy my solitude. Knowing my nature, Keshave won’t come with me and will join later before the sunset for worship and prayer.
We already planned to start a small ashram on the riverside and we chose the place also. So, when I went to the river side and sat alone, I began to visualize the ashram where I can live in solitude. Of course we had decided to have few cottages to accommodate visitors. As I travelled a lot since 1973 except for a break for few months, I became very tired of travel. So I was longing to have my own ashram where I could stay alone and enjoy my life with the Lord. Then next more than one hour my mind was visualizing the future ashram and I was floating in the air. Suddenly a flash came in my mind and I remembered what Peter asked the Lord on the mount of transfiguration. It looked good for him to stay there permanently with the Lord. Then I began to think about my desire to be there living in my own small ashram not travelling much, I wrote the following song: