வலியும் வேதனையும் வந்தால்தான் புரியும்
வாழ்வின் போராட்டம் வாழ்ந்தால்தான் தெரியும்
பிறரின் பாரங்கள் நமக்கும் புரியாது
புரிந்து கொண்டாலும் எவர்க்கும் உதவாது
கருஉருவாகும் போராட்டம் தன்னில்
கருப்பையில் வளரும் போராடி தன்னில்
வெளிவரும் உலகத்தில் வேதனையின் எல்லையில்
நாள்தோறும் வளரும் துன்பத்தின் துணையில்
ஆயினும் இதுமட்டும் வாழ்வுமே ஆகாது
இன்ப துன்பம் மட்டும் இறுதியும் ஆகாது
இன்பத்தில் துன்பம் துன்பத்தில் இன்பம்
என்பதே வாழ்வின் நீதியும் ஆனது
வருவது வரட்டும் ஏன்வீணில் வருந்தனும்
வாழ்ந்தே பார்க்கணும் ஏன்வீணில் கலங்கனும்
குறைவினில் முயன்று நிறைவினில் மகிழ்ந்து
இறுதிவரையில் நாமும் வாழ்ந்தே முடிக்கனும்
வேதனை இல்லாத இன்பமே இல்லை
வலிகலே இல்லாத செயல்களும் இல்லை
இவற்றின் இடையே மின்னலைப் போல
தோன்றி மறைவதே இன்பத்தின் நிலை.
16-10-2015, மத்திகிரி, 2.45pm.
131 Mere lightning
One can understand pain and suffering only if she experiences it
The struggle in life will be realized when one actually lives
We cannot understand another’s burden
Even if we understand that won’t help anyone.
An embryo is formed after an encounter
It will grow in the womb by struggling with itself
It will come out going to the end of pain (both for the mother and the baby)
And it will grow in life with the company of suffering alone.
Yet this alone is not life
Pain and pleasure alone is not the end of life
Pleasure in pain and pain in pleasure
Become the reality of life
Come what may, why should we feel sorrow?
We have to live and why should we be troubled
Endeavouring in shortcomings and rejoicing in success
We have to complete this life by living it totally
There is no pleasure without any pain
There are no efforts without any toil (with pain)
Amidst this like a lightning
Appearing and disappearing is the truth about pleasure/joy
16-10-2015, Mathigiri, 2.45 pm.
In the night of October 14th, 2015, I suffered a lot due to my back pain. I could not even lie down on my bed. If I lay down the pain increased. It was after midnight and I could not call anyone to help. I don’t have any pain killers, though my mother has one I am not sure whether I can use it for me or not. So from 11.30 pm to 2.30 am I was sitting on the chair keeping pillows behind me. But as the pain didn’t come down, I could not sleep. When the pain increased even in the sitting position, I stood and slightly bent my body by keeping my hands on the table. In this way I spent my time with much pain. Then I woke up my mother and asked for her pain killer. She was much panicked on seeing my condition and immediately applied the ointment which she uses for her pain. Then I managed to sleep by sitting on the chair from 3.00 am to 3.30 am. After that, I decided to lie down on my bed again. But when I lay down the pain again aggravated. So bending my body like a ‘Z’, I slept with less pain till 5.00 am. But in my sleep when I turned on my back, due to shocking pain, again I got up and could not sleep. After taking my meal and another pain killer I managed to sleep on the 15th morning from 11.30am to 1.00 pm.
So when I was reflecting that experience this afternoon, I realized that most of the time PAIN and SUFFERING are the only reality in life and all the joy and pleasure that one enjoys is like a lightning that flashes for a fraction of second. But that joy and pleasure alone motivates us to pursue our life amidst the pain and suffering. The hope of enjoying some joy and pleasure alone is the driving force behind human life. For every fleeting pleasure and joy we human have to pay a heavy cost.
I have to find the reference from Manikkavasagar, who describes all the pain and suffering that we undergo from the day the fetus formed in the womb, growth, delivery, etc. Buddha has to flee from his pleasure seeking the solution to it. But the driving force of seeking pleasure and finding joy (anand, bliss) by all — including a sannyasi — who seeks eternal bliss (anand), undermines the suffering and pain a lot.