When I got relief from the struggle that I faced today (see songs 30 & 31), out of joy I wrote this song. This is written on the same day when I felt immense joy in my spirit as I experienced the forgiveness that I received from the Lord.
Neither have I known raagam (musical note)
nor I have known thaalam (beats) nor I heard songs and notes properly.
I know only to pour down feeling of my heart
at the feet of my Lord by composing words.
Neither I know the procedures of poetical grammar
nor I know to join the beginning and the ends of words
I know only to lay down the experience of my spirit at the feet of the Lord.
Neither I am a scholar nor I am a poet
I am not a wise man celebrated by the world.
I am only a humble devotee of my Lord
who redeemed me from my sinful life?
What a joy is it to sing the glory of my Lord?
It is always joyful to prostrate at the feet of my Lord every day.
I still remember that day. From the morning I couldn’t pray and was in a depressed mood. As I was keeping silent that day, I couldn’t go and share my struggle with Rajesh with whom I was staying at Kathmandu. Above all, he was just a new acquaintance to me and I think that was my first visit to his home. As I didn’t know much about him, I was not sure whether I could share my personal struggles with him without knowing each other personally. Our common bhakti in the Lord and in Muktiveda won’t make our life as an open book for every other bhakta. Though we carry one another’s burden, yet we all need to carry our own burden. It is true that in our faith one need not suffer all alone as others are there to give their shoulder to us. At the same time our bhakti in the Lord never denies the fact that ‘every saint must learn to walk alone in the Lord.’ Going to one extreme is not practical in our bhakti in the Lord.
Though we sing this song several times in our gathering, no one knows the actual background of this song. So when others sing the last stanza it is a common experience for them, but for me it is a special one as I come out from the mental struggle that day at Kathmandu.