அறிவால் உன்னை அறிந்திட முடியுமோ
ஆன்மாவில் உண்மைத் தாகமே இல்லாமல்
ஆயிரம் கற்றாலும் உன்னருள் கிட்டுமோ?
ஆவியில் எளிமை என்னிடம் இல்லாமல்!
புவியின் ஞானியைப் புறம்பே தள்ளி
புலப்பட்டாய் நீயும் பேதையாம் எனக்கு
பாலகன் வாயின் துதியே உனக்கு
உவப்பாய் இருப்பதும் என்ன கணக்கு?
இவ்வருள் ஒன்றையே என்வாழ்வில் என்றும்
முத்தேசனே நீ அருளிட வேண்டும்
உன்மடி மீதினில் வளர்ந்திடும் பிள்ளையாய்
உலகில் என்றும் நான் வாழ்ந்திட வேண்டும்!
31-08-1993. கோண்டா (உ.பி)
Is it possible for me to know you through my intellect
Without a thirst in my atman?
Though I learn a million things can I receive your grace
Without having simplicity in my spirit?
Rejecting the wise of this world
You revealed to me who is ignorant
Why do you have this much joy
In the praise of this little one?
Give this grace alone in my life
You should bestow O Lord Muktesa
I should become the baby reared in your lap
And live on this earth.
31-08-1993. Gonda. U.P.
As I was seeking an answer to my question, “Why I cannot lead a perfect life even for a single day,” my search was not only in the scriptures and tradition but also ‘jnana’. Though Hinduism gives importance about proper learning from scripture, nowhere does it insist that jnana can be obtained by mere study of scriptures. That is why we have the need of a preceptor who can impart that ‘jnana’. ‘Gurubin jnan na hoi’ (without guru one cannot attain jnana).
For me several times this learning repeated that too much reading becomes an impediment to get that jnana. I often feel that learning creates more rationality than clear thinking. It creates more of a critical spirit on every point rather than learning to appreciate some good points—however we disagree with them. A good critic is important but mere intellectual understanding creates mere criticism than becoming a good critic.
Several times in my life I wanted to stop reading completely. But soon I realized that it is like catching the tail of the tiger—not knowing how to escape from it. But my bhakti in the Lord soon taught one secret. Real simplicity in the atman by emptying ourselves completely in Him. In other words like a baby lying on the lap of it mother, not even knowing or realizing that it is in the most safest and pleasant place on earth we too should live in our bhakti.
Among all other places in a human body the lap of a mother is the most pleasant place—for every person. The joy and peace that not only her child enjoys (even a grown-up child), but she herself enjoys is no parallel on this earth. I still remember the way my mother, when we were children or even after becoming teenage boys will keep our head on her lap and apply some handmade balm on our forehead when we were affected by severe fever or cold. That time it was not that balm but her touch that quickens the healing. Even now my mother comes and applies oil on my head. I know she enjoys it more than me—though I too like it. But she often complains with others, ‘he is more than 60 years old but cannot even apply oil on his head’. When my mother is not with me I won’t apply any oil on my head. Because I want it only from her hand.
The reason for me to share this personal experience is that for me ‘bhakti’ is the only term, concept, ideal, theology, sadhana—RELATIONSHIP which gives that simplicity to atman when I lay my head on His lap rather than all my reading or reflections (meditation).